


Untitled

by JunBobert



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Goo Junhoe - Freeform, Kim Jiwon | Bobby - Freeform, M/M, yes that's written in capital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JunBobert/pseuds/JunBobert
Summary: What day is today? How long it is since everything happened? I guess one year isn't enough to let your feelings fade away.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooooooooooo~ I haven't posted here since lyk forever hehe. I back with this ANGST, YASSSSS I USED BOLD LETTERS. Anyways, this is from a real story, the time was also real and of course the conversation. Please enjoy and look forward to a fluff work next. THANK U.
> 
> Ps.for filo readers, I recommend listening to Hindi tayo pwede by the Juans as you read this. Thank u.

What day is today? How long it was since everything happened? I guess one year isn't enough to let your feelings fade away.

Junhoe tried, like so many times, he tried to forget that bunny smile he got used to, to be deff by his laugh and to burn the memories he has with him but everything's no use. He mourns as if someone died, well, he can consider himself one. 

Damn those days he spends, scrolling through their late-night convos last year, Damn those messages like "I'll wait for you." That turns into "I let you go." From "I like you" to "I don't know what to feel about you anymore." 

It was just a childish fight and no one thought they led themselves to an end. 

'Tomorrow is really full of uncertainties, huh?'

"It's been a year, why are you still into him? After all, you're the reason why you're suffering now." He mumbles through the thin air as he chugged the bottle of soju. Seven, eight, or nth, who knows how many bottles he'll consume this time? 

He's holding a yellow neat folder on his right hand and his phone was on the left, he took some pictures of it. What an attention seeker or he only wants that certain someone to notice him? He set aside his phone and opened the begun to flip the front of the folder. 

He smiled at his thought. Jinhwan was right, he really has a beautiful mind and no one can reach the level of his life's perspective. He fumbles his fingers through the white papers that were compiled for like... A year ago? Or maybe just months, it doesn't matter. 

Pages of poems were scattered around him like a mat on the floor. He took some photos again and post it on his social with a caption of "I don't like wasting my time but you're the only exception." What does it mean?

Scientists said that hair is the thinnest thing that exists but they haven't seen Junhoe's patience yet. He really hates it when someone calls him or barges into his room for nothing, but Jiwon was the only exception. 

He likes it when HE, who's calling him for nothing just to annoy the hell of him. HE, who likes to invade Junhoe when he's serious writing his poems inside of his room. HE, who he can never have now.

9:02pm 

Junhoe was now a little drunk after emptying his nth bottle of soju, perhaps, it's enough to gather every courage he has inside of his body. 

As soon as he got his phone in both of his now warm palms, he searches Jiwon's name through his contact list. 

Gladly he never deletes it.

Should he bother him this kind of time? Prolly, he's busy playing pc games.

"Who cares? It's now or never!" He shouts and knits his brows. He's not sure how is he going to start it, no one initiate to talk for eight months now. He grew a smug smile when he saw that Jiwon was the last one who messaged him. 

June- 9:21pm  
Hi.

Maybe a simple "Hi" will do. He crossed his fingers, hoping something miracle happened. 

Ding!

Jiwonnie- 9:26  
Hi Junhoe.

That was fast, unlike months way back. Jiwon took hours or worst, days before replying to his message even the latter wasn't busy. Junhoe was glad, Jiwon gets used without his presence.  
  
June- 9:26  
I have something to tell you.

Jiwonnie- 9:27  
Ah~ I knew it. Someone told me already, you missed me.

June- 9:27  
Aside from thatttt.

Jiwonnie- 9:28  
Fire upppppp.

It was those silly letters that tell you 'I'm interested, let's continue this conversation' he feels giddy towards it. Wow, Junhoe, You don't have to be like this just because he replies. 

June- 9:30  
this is embarrassing. Haha.

Jiwonnie- 9:30  
It's okay.

June- 9:31  
Have you seen my latest post?

Jiwonnie- 9:32  
What post? 

June- 9:32  
This. 

Junhoe sent the photos of his poems and also a book, that brownish books.

Jiwonnie- 9:33  
Ah~ yes. Why?

June- 9:33  
Can you read it?

Jiwonnie- 9:35  
It's blurred.

Right, you're really drunk Junhoe. Okay, whatever, he's not a great photographer either. 

June- 9:36  
anyways, that's a whole book and twenty-two pages of poem.

Jiwonnie- 9:37  
Sugoii

June- 9:37  
For u?

Jiwonnie- 9:40  
What? Sorry for the late reply.

June- 9:41  
It's okay, I'm used to it. :)

Jiwonnie- 9:41  
Why'd you bothered yourself that much? That's too much, June. I can't even fill the half of paper. 

June- 9:42  
I want you to see it. I've worked hard and finally finished it for a year now. 

June- 9:42  
I'd like to say sorry in advance because for sure I'll regret messaging you tonight although I really want to talk to you a long time ago.

Jiwonnie- 9:42  
It's fine. Look at the positive outcome.

June- 9:44  
And sorry again? Maybe because I lend so much time in writing those things for you. Idk I feel like I have so many wrongdoings. 

Jiwonnie- 9:45  
It's alright, it's not your fault. 

June- 9:46  
I've always thought that... In the beginning. I fucking think of it for a whole damn year.

Jiwonnie- 9:47  
okay, tell me everything you did wrong.

Junhoe was caught up in his own saliva, the lump inside his throat was starting to move and it hurts a lot. Tears were also starting to escape from both sides of his eyes, screw this idea because it fucking hurts. So much.

June- 9:49  
Why we came to an end? I still feel a little sting inside of my heart and I always want to let it out because I think I've carried it enough. 

Mayhaps, One year was enough. 

Jiwonnie- 9:49  
It's not your fault. If we came to an end, it's because I failed to fill the empty parts of our relationship, So don't blame yourself.

June- 9:50  
No, that's not it. You always fill everything, Ji. You're always there and no matter how much I've tried to push you away, you always come back. I was just a fool, too stupid to realize that.

Jiwonnie- 9:53  
You're not a fool, June. You just did what you think is right, I was so proud of you because we could have hurt ourselves furthermore if we continue.

Does that mean he's just waiting for Junhoe to give up on them? Does he mean he doesn't have any hope in their relationship? Then what about the promises and dreams? What about the delay meetings? Junhoe misses every inch of him, he missed every cute and ugly expression of Jiwon's face just to make him laugh. They were so happy back then but why did Junhoe choose to end it?

Jiwonnie- 9:56  
Are you drunk?

June- 9:57  
Drunk or not, I still want to talk to you. I always doubt myself if you really like me or you just don't have any choice. I tested you for a hundred times, to see how sincere you are. 

'What does it really feel to be chosen?'

A year with secret agony, maybe its time to let it out now. Tears were continuously streaming from his eyes as he opened a can of beer this time.

June- 10:00pm  
I doubt myself because first of all, it wasn't me who you really like. We both know you like Jinhwan first and I'm just his fucking cousin who insist to talk to you because God knows how annoying you were. I have so many what-ifs in the back of my mind, there are so many things could've happened to us. 

The confidence he has was now slowly fading, what guts running in his blood to say all of this? He chugged the can and opened another one and chugged it again and open another one again. 

1:38 am 

June- 1:38 am  
What I really want to say is I've never wanted us to be like this, I've never imagined us being strangers with hidden memories. I was immature way back then, I don't think about the possibilities and outcomes of my decisions. I'm not saying this for you to pity me, I want to let out my burdens because I think I've suffered enough, I think one year is Long enough. I may sound dramatic but all I really want is to be happy. I was holding back for months now and I'm telling you, it's not easy to cry at two am with classes for the next few hours. I know I'm stupid and I take the blame for everything else. But I also want to ask myself, what about me? Am I still doing fine? And there's you, I want to ask what did you do to the following months, what are you up to? I was really curious about you but knowing that I don't have any right to ask, hurts me. I always see your post for someone else and I always have this feeling inside of me, I don't know if it's happy or not. 2020 is coming and I don't want to bring my 2018 problems with me. I'm also sure that I am the only one who's stuck in that one year. I don't want to make this any longer. I want you to be happy, Ji. It's time to choose myself now, I'm letting myself free from you.

Junhoe smiled after he sends his probably last message to him. His tears turn into warm ones. He really loves him that much, huh? He was hoping to hug him for one last time even without feelings, without anything, just a simple hug that he knows he'll never have again.

One of the saddest parts was, all Junhoe ever wanted to hear was a sincere 'THANK YOU.' From his old lover but Jiwon failed to give it. Just a simple could at least ease Junhoe's feeling but he never receives one.

They say, there is really someone that you'll meet and that someone may not be your destiny but he/she is your greatest love, no matter what, he/she will always have space in your heart.

Maybe it's all about how you met the right one at the wrong time. 

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> That's was real. Everything there. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, did you enjoy? Please comment or suggest anything. I'll be glad to hear something from you. Just message to my cc.
> 
> 🐥@Junbobertism


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